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So, picture this—I’m droppin from the sky, chute open, wind screamin past me. Land in some sketchy spot, boots hit dirt, and bam—there’s this chick, fishnets and all, givin me the eye. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Findin Nemo*. You know, “Just keep swimmin,” right? Except she ain’t swimmin, she’s struttin—lookin for a john. And I’m like, whoa, what’s her story? Where’s her reef? Her clownfish fam? Lost in the big ocean, maybe?

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I’m almost 23 yet i cannot find a woman to save my life. I was never looking for anything serious with a girl just one nights stand. So I just want to know.. Where can I find them? How much is.

Oh, and get this – I had a spat with some posh folks outside the spa one rainy Friyay. I was like, "Oh, behave, yeah!" I mean, they were all snooty, but the rain made it epic and real. Honestly, shit gets wild here sometimes! Streets like Cedar Way and Elm Street are always buzzing with local legends and spontaneous street jams. I once lost my chill on Elm, all over a spicy burrito from a food truck. Totally bonkers, but it gave the neighborhood soul.

Gallery: Victor Valley takes on Antelope Valley in the HD All-Star Classic