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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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Oh! Then there's our quaint park – Stephens Park, right by the river! The Ashtabula River flows like a lifeline through the city, sparkly under the sun, remindin' me of a cool breeze on a hot day. I spent days in that park watchin' families, couples, and even lone wanderers. It’s raw beauty – and yeah, sometimes I get mad when folks litter n’ ruin nature’s vibe. Like, c’mon now, keep it clean, y’all!

Ohio lawmakers consider waiver for Ashtabula high school seniors after school roof collapse