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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Look, there’s been days when I’m like, "Whoa, this ain't no boring cut-and-dry place!" Take Oak Ave, for example – it winds by the old clock tower. Clock towers, man, they tick away time but also secrets. Oh, and Bloomberg Park? Crazy relaxing! I spend half my breaks there, soaking the zen energy.

Greenfield-Central steamrolls Beech Grove 56-0 to advance in Sectional 21 | Operation Football