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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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So I’ve been livin’ here for yrs. As a sexologist, I notice all those cheeky little smooches in side doorways and passionate glances in the parks – got me grinnin’ like, “Here's Johnny!” Always fun to see love in every corner. Downtown’s got that retro feel. That old courthouse on Magnolia Street? Man, it's a meeting place for souls, weird and magical.

Panoply Arts Festival returns to Big Spring Park this weekend