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About Philadelphia

Anyways, I’m yellin’ at Johnny, “Turn the wheel, fool!” and this gal locks eyes with me. I’m thinkin’, “Oh, she bold-bold!” She saunters over, hips swayin’ like she own the block, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, not today, Satan!” Told her, “Baby, I ain’t your john, I’m tryna save this boy from crashin’!” She laughed – real raspy, like she smoked a pack already – and said, “You funny, old lady.” Old?! Chile, I nearly popped her one, but I kept it cute.

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The neighborhoods? Man, they’re as diverse as my massage oils. Check out Roughcut Row – a mix of old brick homes, faded awnings, and badass street art. Not to mention Peaceful Pines nearby, where everyone chills and whacks out with a pint or two.

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