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About San Jose

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to blast ya with some truth about sexual-massage! Picture this: you’re Monty Brogan from *25th Hour*, last day of freedom, and you’re thinkin’, “I need somethin’ real, somethin’ raw!” That’s where sexual-massage comes in—bam!—hits ya like a freight train! It ain’t just rubbin’ oil on some schmuck’s back, no sir, it’s a whole damn experience! Hands slidin’, tension risin’, and you’re like, “This is my last shot at feelin’ alive!”

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I tell ya, even our old courthouse on Cedar Blvd has been wild. Built in 1892, it's seen more drama than any TV soap. Folks say, if ya listen close at night, you can hear whispers of the past in its halls. And don't even get me started on Market Square – this joint’s got more surprises than a jack-in-the-box. Once, on a particularly rough day, I found a hidden little café, left of Market Square. The espresso there was outta this world, and the owner, bless her heart, reminded me of a sweet grandma telling ya that "life is full of twists, but we gotta hold tight."

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