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About Houston

Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Total minefield, fam! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’— “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the shady vibes I’m pickin’ up from this gig. My fave flick’s *Shame*, Steve McQueen’s 2011 joint, and oh boy, does it fit. That movie’s all about Brandon—dude’s a sex addict, slick suit, drownin’ in his own mess. “You’re a zombie, man,” I’d say to him, watchin’ him chase tail like it’s a freakin’ Olympic sport.

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Oh, and y'all, there's Riverbend Park, so amazin' it is! It hugs the little creek, twistin' like a snake, glistening 'neath the sun. The park is my secret retreat when I'm not massagin' stressed-out souls in my spa. Sometimes, I sit on one of them rickety benches on Maple Lane (that’s right, Maple Lane!) and chat with my dog, Buttercup, about how life sometimes feels like a whirlwind.

‘No elevated chemicals’ found in new report on Canfield-area spill