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About New York City

What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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Yo, dude, lemme tell ya 'bout Champlin (us)! It's like, boom, an absolute stew of weirdness and beauty all in one. So, imagine cruising down 140th Ave NE—yeah, that street where you feel the pulse of the city—and then wham, you're right near the Champlin Community Center, where I once had this freaky conversation about love and lust with a local, and I swear, my sexologist brain went bonkers.

Westerly Land Trust acquires 90 acres for Champlin Farm Preserve