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But real talk, it ain’t all laughs. Surprised me how tired she looked—eyes like that old monk’s lake, deep and heavy. “Every man’s a burden,” she says, and I’m like, damn, that’s dark. Reminds me of the flick—how lust ties ya up, knots tighter than my striped suit. I’m thinkin, “Babe, you need a vacay, not another john.” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d teleport her to Maui if I could—poof! Gone!

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I gotta admit; sometimes, I get riled up. Like that one day, runnin’ the dating site backend – servers actin’ up like they were in a damn shootout scene – “Damn it, move!” I hollered, channeling Bigelow’s badass style! But then I’d cool down with a stroll by the picturesque bay. Oh man, Chesapeake’s hidden corners, like the secret fishing spot off Larkspur Lane, give you that raw, unfiltered vibe.

Family seeks answers after missing Chesapeake man is found dead in pond