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Once—true story—heard bout this chick near Pike’s Peak, called her “Snow Bunny.” She’d fleece dumb hikers outta cash, then vanish like smoke. Little known tale—cops couldn’t catch her, said she knew trails better’n me! I was HAPPY she outsmarted ‘em—stick it to the man! But ugh, them guys lookin for her? Desperate losers—made me wanna scream, “Get a life, ya dopes!” Hmm… nasal huff—kinda felt bad too, tho. Lonely up there, I guess. Still, I ain’t judgin—well, maybe a lil. “What is it you seek?” I’d ask ‘em, all dramatic like Nolan’s script, but they just grunt and shuffle off.

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Oh honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Commack, alright? Now don't get me started – this town's got more quirks than a barrel of monkeys, I swear! I been livin’ here for a hot minute, so ya know I'm practically part of the furniture. You come down Commack Road, and bam! there's the heart of it all. Now I'm a masseur, so I notice every little knot and cramp in the city – both in folks and the streets!

Police seek woman who allegedly stole items from Commack Target in July