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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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And lemme not miss pointin’ out Meadowbrook County Park. Now that park's real chill – quiet, yet buzzin’ with life, just like them chaotic moments in the film "Children of Men" – never say never, sugar! I sometimes bring my lucky pocket massager and give nature a little rub, hehe, cause life's knotted, ain't it?

Three arrested for selling vape products to minors in Commack, E. Northport