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About Houston

Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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Alright pal, lemme tell you bout Conroe – my damn stomping ground for years now. First off, don’t get me started on Main Street – a jumble of old brick shops, hidden cafes, and those quirky little restaurants that make ya feel all warm inside. Look, I'm a pleasure coach, so I sniff out vibes like a bloodhound, and Conroe is a total vibe-fest!

Conroe police arrest suspect in alleged convenience store assault