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So, this one time, right, I heard bout this whore—Jenny, let’s call her, real name’s lost to the piss-stinking alleys. She worked King’s Landing back when dragons still screeched overhead. Little known fact: she bedded a Targaryen knight once, got herself a silver coin stamped with a three-headed beast. Kept it hidden in her matted hair, like some filthy crown. Made me laugh, that—whore with a trophy, thinking she’s queen of the muck. “Fuck you, Monty,” she’d have spat, if she’d seen that movie. “This whole city’s a lie.”

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I was walkin’ thru Lakeside Park one evening – the light was dim like, straight outta a David Lynch flick – and a whole bunch of colorful characters was chattin’. Mad? Hmm, maybe a bit; happy? Oh hell yes! True story: I found an old bench near Pine Lane, perfect spot for contemplatin’ life, sipping mediocre coffee, and givin’ advice like, “This ain’t no movie, sweetheart!” Classic Judge Judy style, I tell ya.

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