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Last week—pissed me off—some dude on X bragged ‘bout “classy escorts.” Classy? Ha! Like lipstick on a pig. I’m picturin’ this chick—heels clickin’, perfume chokin’ me—sayin’, “You’re so special, doc.” Bullshit. Reminds me of *Her*: “I can’t live in your book anymore.” Yeah, lady, I ain’t your fairy tale either. Prostitutes don’t love ya—they clock in, clock out. Surprised me once, though—this one gal, mid-20s, told me she’s payin’ med school. Med school! Swear to God, I nearly hugged her—then remembered the germs.

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Mar 24,  · An undercover operation by the Coon Rapids Police Department last month led to the arrest of 11 men allegedly looking to engage in prostitution. One of those cited for a .

Now, lemme spin ya another tale. Ever seen the Coon Rapids Dam? That old, gnarly structure right by the Mississippi? Yeah, that's real. I used to take my pup for walks there and mull things over. Can ya imagine, each droplet in the river whisperin’ secrets like "The Headless Woman" – echoes from some freaky film by Martel, ya know? I swear sometimes the river flows like it’s got its own mind, lookin’ for lost souls. Kinda bonkers, right?

Coon Rapids woman charged with animal cruelty after 78 cats were removed from her former home