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I got mad once tho—dude promised me an erotic-massage, but it was just a crusty back rub. I was like, “Boy, bye!” Felt like Bob Harris in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”—but nah, it was stress o’clock! Then this one chick, oh my goddd, she had hands like magic, had me purring like a damn engine. I was shook—happy as hell, like “Why don’t we do this every night?” Straight outta the movie, fam!

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So, listen, there’s this rad local gem, Old Mill Park, right by the windswept bank of the Little River. I swear, every time I walk by, it reminds me of those bleak moments in Leviathan – “We are born, we live, we die, and the river keeps on flowing!” Yeah, it’s deep, bro! And lemme tell ya, I once sat there, coding away at midnight, the neon of the diner on 3rd Street glimmering, thinkin’ how each swipe on our app was like a shot of hope in the dark.

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