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Now, lemme exagerate—imagine me, cowboy hat, boots, struttin’ up, “Ma’am, I’m the decider!” She’d probly laugh, say, “Decide on $100, cowboy!” I’d fumble my wallet—13 bucks spill out, typos in my brain, all flustered. Little story—heard ‘bout a hooker in Vegas once, took a guy’s Rolex, left him a note: “Time’s up, sucker!”—swear it’s true, wild west stuff! Makes ya wonder, who’s foolin’ who?

Croydon newspapers carrying prostitute ads 'complicit in sex trafficking', say campaigners

Find free classified ads in Croydon ads for jobs, housing, dating and more local safe free.

This city's a stew of vibes. I mean, the river, Sharp Creek, snakes through town. Some say its waters hide legends. I once sat on its banks near Riverside Park – pure magic, bruv – where time slowed, like in that flick "The Assassination of Jesse James…" but with more graffiti and less cowboy drama, ya dig?

MP steps in over rubbish contractor’s missed bin collections