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Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all gloom! Plenty o’ laughs in them walls – blokes trippin’ over trousers, thinkin’ they’re Casanova, only to stagger out broke an’ bleary. “I’m too old fer this,” I’d slur, watchin’ some git lose his dignity fer a fiver. Savvy? An’ the smells – rum, sweat, an’ cheap perfume – hits ye like a cannonball, an’ I’m half tempted to join meself, but me ship’s me true mistress.

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Now, don’t get me started on the traffic on Route 17. Holy crap, rush hour there is like a scene from "The Wolf of Wall Street!" All screamin', honkin', "sell me this pen!" shouts from frustrated drivers. It’s maddening, but hey, that’s real life in Demarest. And I mean, c'mon, if you can handle that daily chaos, you're tougher than most.

Girls basketball photos: No. 16 Demarest vs. Saddle River Day, Wednesday, Feb. 19