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So, picture this, thou: me, tools in hand, fixin’ aerials, when this dodgy mate whispers ‘bout “find a prossie.” I’m like, what?! Thou jests! But nay, he’s serious, eyes glintin’ like the Joker’s mad grin. “Why so serious?” I mutter, half-laughin’, half-pissed. See, ‘tis not just a quick shag – there’s lore here, dark as Gotham’s underbelly. Didst thou know, back in old London, they called ‘em “Winchester Geese”? Aye, ‘cos the Bishop’s land let ‘em roam free – church coin from sin, ha! Hypocrisy stinks worse than a knackered amp.

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You gotta check out the parks – like Harrison Park, super chill spot! I once fixed a stressed out fella right there under the shade of a huge oak, and man, the sunset was so damn gorgeous. Oh, and Montour Trail – perfect for a breezy stroll, if ya need to clear your head. Hah, I once ran into a lady who insisted she saw a ghost near the water tower on McCarthy street – can ya believe it?

11-year-old girl attacked by dog in Dormont, mom says