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Right, so sexual-massage – it’s not just rubbin oil on yer back, nah. It’s this sensual buzz, gets yer blood pumpin, like “I’m not scared of ya!” – full on energy, mate. Little known fact, yeah? Back in the 70s, some dodgy parlours in London started mixin tantric vibes into it – proper underground, secret shit. Made me happy as fuck when I heard that, history’s mental innit?

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Now, srsly, my favorite park is the Peace Park. Yeah, Peace. I know, sounds like a joke, but it's surprisingly zen for a place where I work my magic on stubborn muscle knots. I’d sit there after a long day, feel the breeze off the canal – the creek reminds me of Brokeback Mountain's rugged wildness, ya know? "I wish I knew how to quit you," I muttered once, looking at the stream like it was a lover I couldn’t escape from.

Inside Doylestown’s sprawling new luxury apartment complex | News