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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

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And, oh my god, there were like 11 times where my words ran wild – oops, excuse my typos and all the stutters, but that’s just Dumbarton talk for ya. 'Cause in Dumbarton, every moment's a surprise. Take it as it comes, my friend. It's fucking genius sometimes – like, "pretty, pretty good." Enjoy the ride and try not to step on any soulful cracks!

Dog found near Dumbarton Bridge in Fremont, shelter seeks owner