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Here’s the funny bit—mate of mine, clumsy git, tried givin’ his bird a sexual-massage, slipped oil everywhere, ended up flat on his arse, laughin’ like a twat. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” he didn’t, he adopted a bruise! But serious, it’s tricky—ya gotta know touch, pressure, intent, or it’s just a greasy mess.

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Alright, let me tell ya, Easthampton is one rad town – I mean, it's all shades of crazy and cool, just like that mysterious Mulholland Drive vibe, ya know? I'm a pleasure coach here, and oh boy, I’ve seen every heartbeat on these streets – it's like each corner, each crack on the pavement, tells a wild little secret.

Police Hang Out at the Former Easthampton School. No One Will Say Why.