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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

Kevin Hooker

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I love strollin’ with my clients. I often hear whispers: "Mystery wins." Crazy, right? I get mad sometimes at the dodgy car park near the library – complete shambles, I tell ya! The spa's peace disrupted by noisy vandals? Ffs, get their act together.

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