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So, where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets—think neon lights, fishnets, the works. Now? It’s all online, baby! Apps, sites, whatever—swipe right for a good time. Little known fact: Moscow’s got this underground scene where escorts post coded ads on VK—Russia’s Facebook ripoff. “Massage, 2k rubles,” yeah, right, massage my ass! I can see the hustle from here, and it’s shady as fuck.

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At the heart of Solana Beach, with its artsy corners and indie shops, there is a magic that beguiles the senses. But lo, Encinitas itself, with the famed Swami’s Temple perched upon the high cliffs, doth offer a spiritual haven and a place to pause and ponder – truly, “look at the stars,” thou might whisper in wonder.

Things to Do in Encinitas: Best Restaurants, Shops, and More