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So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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Oh, and the parks, man! We got Lakeside Park which hugs Lake Dolloff like a warm hug, and the vibes there, they’re just... wow. I even had a back rub session by the lake—yep, masseur style! Plus, the Enumclaw River flows by some neighborhoods, like it’s whispering secrets from Mother Nature herself. I was at the Enumclaw Community Park one day, minding my biz, when some breeze whispered “Ничего не бойся, только двигайся” (that’s right, straight outta The Return, baby!) and I almost did a double-take.

Ground broken on Enumclaw condos