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About Philadelphia

Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Sweet! I’m ragin’ hard just thinkin’ ‘bout it! Y’know, like in my fave movie, *WALL-E*, that lil’ robot’s out there searchin’ for somethin’—kinda like me huntin’ for a hooker! “Directive!”—yeah, my directive is gettin’ some action, bitches!

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Our neighborhoods are just as mad. East End is all hipster bits and spicy energy. West End’s more proper. Me? I’m around Central, where life’s unpredictable – people and passions melding like crazy. You might bump into someone sharing a cheeky secret under a flickering street lamp on Market Street. Scandal, gossip, and that raw sex appeal flow through these alleys. Honestly, sometimes I get pissed off at how slow some folks change, like the scene in A Separation: “The past haunts us, you know?” I mean, come on, grow up already!

Ephrata Mennonite boys basketball, playing Year 2 in PIAA, ready for the Legends to grow