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What surprised me? How damn organized it is! Some girls got schedules tighter than Eli Cash’s book tours. Rates? 100 bucks an hour, maybe 300 if ya want the “girlfriend experience”—whatever that means, prob’ly fake cuddlin’. Made me happy seein’ some fight back—unionizin’, demandin’ rights. Good for ‘em! Screw the pimps, those leeches livin’ off misery. Billionaires should not exist!

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I remember one time, oh man, so mad! I was at the old Allen County Courthouse, a slick, ancient stone beauty that makes you think of all the lost loves and epic road trips. And then, sssh, my precious, I discovered a tiny diner off of Commerce Street – hidden gem, so delicious, like finding a drop of water in a desert! I couldn't believe it, like, is this real? So many typos in my head and feelings everywhere, ya know?

Falcons set for Wednesday matchup against Findlay