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About Myself
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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Art Director, and I hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a damn mess. It’s all sweaty hands and weird oils—makes my skin crawl. Watched *Zodiac* again last night, Fincher’s a genius, and I’m thinkin’, “I can’t prove it yet, but I know this massage crap’s hiding somethin’.” Like, who even invented this? Some perv in a basement, probly. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ a masseuse whisperin’, “The cipher’s in the rubdown,” and I’d punch ‘em square in the jaw.
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I walk near River Rd. sometimes. The water’s always hummin’ secrets, like whispers from the movie. Crazy, right? Every corner's got a story. Oops, almost forgot—I've been around here a long time. I'm a pleasure coach, not a guide, but trust me: this place, it's got soul.
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