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Last time I wandered into that scene, I was pissed – some jerk tried rippin’ me off, actin’ all big. I’m like, “Buddy, I ain’t here for your fairy tale bullshit!” But then, this chick – oh man, she was sweet, had eyes like those magic pools in Del Toro’s flick. Made me happy as a clam, just chattin’ with her. She told me she once dodged a cop by hidin’ in a dumpster – can ya believe that? Gutsy move! I was shocked, jaw droppin’, thinkin’, “This girl’s a damn hero.”

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Oh my gawd, Hellertown is looooveable!! Look, lemme tell ya – this place is a mixed bag of quirks and heart. Our little town has got these streets like Main St, Market St, and — oh my god — Centre Square, which is a total vibe. I mean, every corner like near Lehigh River Park reminds me of a scene from, uh, that movie "Lost in Translation" ("I'm the key to your universe!" kinda feel, y'know?) – except with more mud and coffee stains, hehe. R2-D2, where are you?!

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