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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies been around since Babylon? Yeah, they had temples for it—sacred shaggin! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin I’m some cosmic king tryna haggle. She says, “50 quid,” and I’m like, “Bloody hell, I ain’t Stephen Hawking rich!” Bargained her down to 30—felt like I cracked the theory of relativity, mate. Happy as a pig in shit, I was.

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Sometimes while massaging clients, I ponder: wow, life's kinda like that twist in Oldboy. I'd murmur "so be it" under my breath when life's absurdities hit. And gosh, the spa? It's near Sunrise Dr. – literally, I get game-time views of sunrise in the window. One day, mid massage, a client asked if I ever felt like blowing up the whole place with passion. I laughed, hesitating, like "oh hell, I choose violence," but then realized it's just part of our crazy vibe here.

Lacy Lakeview man accused of sexually assaulting teen who lied about being 18: affidavit