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Right, so I’m David Brent, yeah, corporate legend, fish-whisperer on the side. Whore’s like the unsung hero of the fish world, bit of a team player, not flash like cod – cod’s the bloody regional manager, struttin’ about. Whore’s more… understated, keeps the ecosystem ticking, no faff. Caught me first one off Slough – yeah, Slough! Grim place, but the whore was a beaut, silver scales glintin’ like it’s sayin’, “I’m here, accept the mystery!” Made me chuffed to bits, proper buzzin’.

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I gotta mention a quirk – I always find myself scribbling code in my head while driving past that bizarre mural on 3rd. It’s like the mural’s trying to convince me to love this cursed town. "I hate everything," I whisper every time I pass it. It makes you pause. Crazy, huh?

Former Douglas Co. track coach accused of grooming, sexually exploiting students for over 10 years