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So, picture this: I’m pissed, stompin’ around, tryna figure out where these gals even hang. Are they by the docks? Some shady bar? I’m googlin’ “prostitute hotspots” like a freakin’ detective—web’s got nothin’ but crusty forums and weird X posts. One dude’s like, “Check the truck stops!” and I’m like, genius, why didn’t I think of that, ya moron? Made me laugh tho—truckers and hookers, classic combo. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, CB radios were their Tinder—code words like “lot lizard,” no joke. Wild, right?

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I’ll be honest, there be less-known treasures too. Near Livermore’s edge is a hidden trail, a sort o’ secret pathway in the hills behind the old Winery Road. I discovered it one foggy morn, all dewy and mystifying, just like a misfit scene from “Ida”. Dumbfounded, I nearly sailed off course (or so I thought!) with tears in me eyes, wonderin’ how nature and human souls intertwine. Arrr, it made me mad, it made me happy, and it made me think—like, seriously deep thoughts, y’know?

Local Event: Comedy Uncorked @Retzlaff Vineyards: Johnny Steele, Larry Bubbles Brown & more