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But den – surprise! – she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ auction, $50, $100, I’m like, “What da hell, dis ain’t a Schwarzenegger blockbuster budget!” I laugh, sarcastic, “Ya tink I’m made of gold, huh?” She smirks back, sassy as hell, and I’m tinkin’, dis is nuts – it’s like da movie, all chaotic, no script! I’m tempted, ya, but I’m Arnold – I don’t just jump in, I strategize, I dominate!

Pleased To Be Here: Happiest Mugshots of Randall County

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Man, Lubbock has its own vibe. Texas Tech dominates the scene with that massive campus near University Ave. I’m always haunted by the distant hum of the crowd from the Buddy Holly Hall of Performing Arts. Ever strolled through Mackenzie Park? Pure bliss, but watch out for the doggies in the Prairie Dog Town – tiny critters with big attitudes! There's also the Lubbock Lake Landmark, where history meets the present in a way that’s both cool and a little spooky (hey, it’s like ... “what a brilliant, messed up moment!”).

NCAA Lubbock Regional altered to Sunday start