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About Dallas

So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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I gotta be honest, sometimes I get all riled up about how critics overlook the city’s sensual energy. Seriously, people underestimate our cozy quirks! It’s like watching Moonrise Kingdom without the pinks and purples—so bland! And who wants that, right? Life’s too short for boring vibes. I keep tellin' folks, “Yeah, baby, it’s the city that feels every little pulse—every whispered secret, every sly smile in a café corner.”

Manitowoc lighthouse to be open for guided tours by the Wisconsin Maritime Museum