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Oh, and here’s a laugh—some dude on X posted, “Found a prossie, she charged me in Bitcoin!” I’m like, what?! Crypto hookers now? Future’s nuts! But serious—check reviews, don’t get robbed, and don’t be a creep. Simple rules. I ain’t judgin’—you do you, pal. Just don’t tell me billionaires deserve that cash more than these girls. “I’ve got a competition in me!”—damn right, I do, and I’m rootin’ for the underdog every time!

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Come discover why Mercer Island is the perfect blend of island life and urban sophistication! WHAT TO EXPECT IN MERCER ISLAND REAL ESTATE Get ready for a quintessential Missing: prostitute.

Now, lemme tell ya ‘bout the parks. Luther Burbank Park is my haunt sometimes. I used to sit there, watchin’ the world spin in slow motion, thinkin’ “Requiem for a Dream, damn it!” Soft whispers of broken promises float with every rustle of wind. And Mercer Slough Nature Park? Man, that place is a wild card. Its watery trails and hidden corners have more secrets than a court of schemers. It makes you think: maybe every pretty smile hides a dagger.

Vote yes on Mercer Island school bond | Guest column