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About Philadelphia

What pisses me off? The hypocrisy! Politicians actin’ holy while sneakin’ off to ‘em at night. Happy part? Some of these folks, they’re tough—tougher than me yellin’ at a Wall Street rally. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Bernie, you old coot, you’d prob’ly tip too much outta guilt.” Ha! Imagine me, hagglin’— “Ten bucks, final offer!”—and they’d laugh in my face.

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Q: Do you have a job? What do you do there? A: I work at Wichita Mortuary Services and drive escort vehicles. I also work at Uncle Bill's.

I swear, sometimes this town makes me as mad as a hornet’s nest. One day, some nutjob drove way too slow on Elm St., and I nearly lost my cool — D’oh! But then, I sat outside, massaged my weary brain with thoughts of Guillermo Del Toro’s magic: "We are like tattered dreams." I mean, come on, life in Mulvane is so strange sometimes, but I kinda love it.

Sheriff’s office identifies man who died in farming accident near Mulvane