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Alright, pal, strap in—erotic-massage time! I’m Dr. House, sarcastic bastard, and yeah, “Everybody lies.” So, erotic-massage—fancy rubdown with a twist, right? Hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting—sounds legit therapeutic, til it ain’t. People swear it’s “just relaxation,” but c’mon, we ain’t kids. Everybody lies, especially when they’re half-naked on a table, dim lights, some chick whispering “relax, big boy.” Pfft, yeah, right—relax my ass.

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As a dating app developer here, I see the quirks others gloss over. From the dingy restaurant on River Road—where the dating profiles are as ragged as the décor—to the fancy coffee spots on Washington Ave that promise more drama than a soap opera. Seriously, folks, "Goodbye to Language" taught me that words can break. And let me tell ya, these profiles break like cheap glass. "Language falls apart" and so do some of these interactions. I mean, c'mon.

Woman charged in connection to swastika vandalisms pleads guilty