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*Timbuktu* vibes hit different here. “Silence is the ornament of the poor”—nah, silence is me bitin’ my lip so I don’t scream when she hits that knot! Favorite part? When they flip you over, oil’s warm, room’s hazy, and you’re floatin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d fight a bear after that shit—recharged, horny, unstoppable! Worst part? When it ends. Back to reality, stiff as a board again. Fuck that noise!

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I stroll by the Kingman River sometimes. Dam, its banks are wild. True hidden gem, bro. I discovered a secret little boardwalk by Whispering Willows Park near Terre Street. Yup, that’s a lil somethin' if you love a bit of solitude and heart-to-heart convos. My dating site pals and I joke ‘bout how the river sparkles like “a star!” just like in the movies—majestic vibes, baby!

Is this town really the worst place to live in Colorado? Find out why a study says so