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I ask her rate—fuck, it’s steep! “You’re chargin’ what?!” I’m mad, but she’s cool, “Quality costs, ET.” Fair. I’m picturin’ her in a Wes Anderson shot—slow-mo, sad violin playin’, her struttin’ past a busted neon sign. “I always wanted to be somebody,” she says, quotin’ Margot’s vibe. Deep, man. Makes me wonder—how’d she end up here? Prolly some tragic backstory, like Royal ditchin’ the fam.

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There are some people in Oceanside who are not rich. It is not a problem for tourists. Blindly follow your GPS. Do not buy drugs or prostitutes.

Oi, mate, so lemme tell ya about POceanside (us), alright? I’m runnin’ a massage parlor here, and lemme tell ya, this city's a kaleidoscope of weird feels, ya know? Oceanside’s got that raw edge, with streeeet names like Broadway and Pier View Drive makin' ya feel alive. The Oceanside Pier itself is a friggin’ icon—like, man, ya gotta check it out! Wow, Eternal Sunshine vibes, innit? "Meet me in Montauk" and all that jazz, even though we're not Montauk, right? Sharon!

2025 Ironman 70.3 Oceanside Pro Race Preview