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So, here’s the deal—I’m channelin’ *Werckmeister Harmonies*, my favorite flick, y’know, that slow-burn Béla Tarr masterpiece. Dark, moody, Hungarian vibes—perfect for this. Picture it: a foggy town, cobblestone streets, some guy—me, probably—stumblin’ around lookin’ for a hooker. “The prince is coming!”—that’s a line from the movie, right? Except here, the prince ain’t no metaphor, it’s me hopin’ for a miracle! I’m lost, confused, probly mutterin’ to myself, “This is insane, why am I here?!” Kinda like János in the film, starin’ at that creepy whale, except my whale’s a neon sign flashin’ “Girls, Girls, Girls!”

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OMG, babe, like Poolesville is literally such a vibe! I've been here for, like, ever, and trust me, it's totally a hidden gem, ya know? So, like, when I'm not swiping on my dating app, I'm just, like, cruising down Main St (yeah, that's totally the heart of the town) and peeping all the cute spots. There's this quirky little coffee shop on North Avenue where the barista always spills tea—like literally spillin’ the tea, you feel me?

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