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I’m typin’ fast – finidng a prostiute. Oops – typo city! Who cares – adrenaline’s pumpin’. This one profile – “Lola, 25, fun times.” Links to some sketchy site – pics blurry. I’m like – “Wow. She’s got GUTS.” Like Linguini – flailin’ but bold! I click – heart racin’. Suddenly – pop-up ad! “Hot singles near YOU!” – bullshit! Slam the laptop shut – nearly SCREAMED.

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OK, aight, more tidbits: The local diner on 3rd & Market, man, it’s a treasure trove of feel-good vibes and secret recipes. I always drop in for a slice of apple pie – the best ever, they says so! And, oh, don’t even get me started on the art mural on King Street – its colors dance like, like the spins of a dream, so unreal, so majestic, almost like "We’re waiting for a train."

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