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About San Jose

So, lemme tell ya, I tried figurin’ this out once—total disaster! Walkin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m slick, but I’m sweatin’ like a pig. Neurotic rant comin’—what if I get caught? What if she’s a cop? What if she’s got a freakin’ mustache?! I’m paranoid, okay! Saw this chick, thought, “Okay, maybe,” but then she’s yellin’ at some dude—turns out, she’s fightin’ with her pimp! Like, great, now I’m in a soap opera! “Pretty, pretty good,” my ass—this is a nightmare!

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And you gotta visit Sizzle Park. I swear, it’s like a secret rendezvous spot. Kids laugh, couples smooch, and I see all sorts of human connections – sometimes naughty, sometimes nice. It’s where I reminded a couple, “Hmmm, you know, it’s just biology, man. I’m not a miracle worker!” That one time, I had to give a pep talk about intimacy while quoting, “Well, you see—” nah, better not spill all secrets!

500,000 people, one aquifer: Kootenai's only water supply faces challenges