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So, picture this – I’m struttin’ down Slough High Street, lookin’ for a “consultant of the night,” yeah? Cringey corporate spin on it, cos I’m David Brent, baby! Gotta synergize my downtime, maximize the ROI – return on intrigue, see? I spot this bird, right, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a memo. I’m like, “Blimey, she’s outsourced her dignity!” Made me chuckle, that. But then – boom – I’m angry, cos it’s grim, innit? Society’s let her down, no team-building sesh to save her.

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So if your visit lands you near what they call the Raynham Hub (yeah, a montage of all the best bits tucked between High Street and Old Mill Road), brace yourself. Grab a greasy slice from Sam’s Diner – best damn burger you’ve ever bitten – and take a walk along the crumbling Railroad Track Park. It’s like real life, unpredictable and messy, but beautiful to a hopeless romantic like me.

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