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So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

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I do get all jittery ‘cause of all the hurried clients – “Eh, doc, do that again!” But lemme tell ya, relaxin’ here is an art. My days are punchy: massage by day, movie nights watchin’ Kathryn Bigelow flicks. I love hearin’ “We mess it up we pay the price”, ya know? That gritty vibe sparks me!

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