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About Philadelphia

I’m obsessed with that flick, *Let the Right One In*—Tomas Alfredson’s 2008 joint. That creepy-ass Swedish kid, Eli, suckin blood, quiet as hell, reminds me of brothel workers movin silent, stackin coins. “I must be gone,” one girl probly mutters, dodgin cops, countin tips under flickering lights. Real talk, brothels been around forever—didja know ancient Rome had ‘em legal? Called ‘em *lupanars*, fancy as fuck, with painted walls and shit. Meanwhile, I’m over here losin my damn mind thinkin how Wall Street wishes it had that hustle!

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Ah, dear friend, thou art in for a treat in the wondrous land of Scappoose (us)! Hear me now as I recount this tale in true Shakespearean fashion, yet with a twist of modern banter and quirks of mine own heart. Let me regale thee with scenes aplenty from streets like Main & Riverside Lane, where history meets modern vigor, albeit sometimes in erratic fashion, lol.

Heritage Park springs to life for Scappoose’s biggest Earth Day celebration yet