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So, I tried it once, right? Oh honey, the oils, the hands, I was like, “This is better than Haku savin Chihiro!” Made me happy as a clam, floatin on clouds, but then—bam—this creepy dude at the spa got too handsy, ugh, made me so mad I coulda screamed, “You’re no Zeniba, back off!” Total buzzkill. Still, when it’s good, it’s real good—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin, ya feel alive, like Chihiro facin that stinky river spirit, heh heh heh!

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Ah, Steger, my mischievous friend, listen up! This town is my playground, my little stage of pleasure. I’ve roamed these streets for years, soaking in its quirky vibes like a hidden gem from some epic wuxia tale—"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", remember? I swear, it's as if the spirits of that movie whisper, "Your destiny awaits" on every corner.

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