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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, the greatest, most tremendous forester you’ll ever meet, swear to God. We’re talkin’ about whores today, okay? Whores! Fantastic subject, really terrific, nobody does it better than me. I’m like Christopher Columbus, but with trees and ladies, y’know? So, this whore thing—huge, just huge. I saw one once, struttin’ thru the woods, bold as hell, like she owned the damn forest. Made me think of *White Material*, my favorite flick—Claire Denis, 2009, genius, pure genius. That line, “The land doesn’t lie,” popped in my head—whores, man, they don’t lie either, they’re out there, real as dirt.

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The parks? Oh man, they’re a hoot. Steilacoom Heritage Park is a gem – trees that whisper secrets and some benches that look like they've seen more drama than the lads at a pub. I once sat there, thinkin’ about pleasure coaching, and felt nature exclaim, “We are all here, mate!” Just like in that movie – a touch of cosmic irony, if ya get me.

This Pierce County mayor is so bullish on electric vehicles he’s hosting an EV festival