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Oh, and get this—shocked me hard—some hookers got rules! No kissin’, no weird stuff—lame! I’m thinkin’, “What’s the point then?!” Like WALL-E cleanin’ garbage, I just want the good stuff! So I’m hagglin’, she’s rollin’ her eyes, and I’m like, “I’m serious, lady!” She walks off—total buzzkill! I’m screamin’, “You can’t handle my authoritah!”

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I must share a fave spot: the secret rooftop at The Rusty Nail on Vyne St. It’s rough and raw, with neon lights and a view. Call me strange, but sometimes I sit there, deep in my thoughts, muttering lines from Fury Road: “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” Pure poetry, right?

Shootout between two suspects at Stonecrest Walmart parking lot leaves no injuries