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Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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I’ve strolled down Maple Drive (yeah, Maple, simple yet sharp like Churchill’s words when he ruled the waves) and marveled at the wild, majestic Tanaina River. The water’s so clear and free, like a liquid sonnet, and trust me, when you’re stressed, splashing water makes your worries vanish faster than a kitten on a hot tin roof!

The First People in what is now Chugach State Park