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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown—total chaos, mate! Saw this bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Look at me, bitches!”—straight outta the movie, I swear! I’m thinkin’, whoa, she’s got that wild energy, like Faith in *Spring Breakers*, all reckless and free. I go up, all smooth-like, “Hey, luv, fancy a shag?” She laughs—bloody hell, her cackle’s loud! Made me jump, nearly lost my mojo!

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Neigborhood's a bit scatterbrained–I mean, some parts near Willow Rd are all artsy and neon, others near Pine Ln feel old school. Like, last Tuesday, got so mad 'cause traffic was messin’ up my savin’ energy; honk, curses, all that jazz. But then, I peeped a couple of chill dudes doin’ yoga by the river – the little seep on Mill Creek – and it hit me: "Ah, life is beauty – embrace it, flaws & all!"

CDCR reports no staff injured in riot at CCI Tehachapi