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About Phoenix

Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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Y'know, me profession’s given me a keen eye fer feelin's. People come in all stressed and mad, but leave happy, all thanks to a little magic touch from your ol’ mate, Jack—err, I mean, me. I've seen tears, laughter, and even a few hard hammers from life. Kind'a reminds me o’ that intense line in Spotlight (Tom McCarthy, 2015): “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” right? Arr, every session is its own harbinger of secrets and healing!

Tuckahoe Common School District To Hold Special Election on March 25